Guess who found out her dad has been cheating her mom for at least three years?! Me!!

So, my dad is like this stupid jerk who leaves his email open while I'm on the computer. I never really cared, just went about my bussiness and logged him off, no worries. But yestarday he left his email open on the sent messages and there, just staring at me, was all this sort of messages... to all this kind of people! It wasn't like, he has a mistress and tells her he'll leave my mom to be with her. He has all this contacts!

I saw at least about 5 to 6 different emails there. And the contents of the messages... God, I won't even.

Also, one of the emails I saw was to my half sister's mom. Yeah, that's right. My dad and her mom have been getting it on for I don't know how long. So, I assume my sister knows about all of this. Well, I didn't concidered her my sister before, if this pans out to be true, you can say goodbye to friends as well.

I talked to my friend. I spent the whole day at her house crying my eyes out. 

My idea was to get home, get him alone and tell him to tell my mom what he's been doing for God knows how long. My friend backed me up on that idea and we came back to my house when we knew he wouldn't be there (it was around one o'clock in the afternoon) and fowarded all his emails to my email, so we'll have proof of what he's been doing.

But then I talked to my aunt. She's my mom's sister and she knows her and my family better than anyone. When I told her, she was shocked, but she wasn't surprised. Like, it was to be expected that my dad would eventually do something like that.
So, I talked to her a lot, cried like a crazy person again, and she told me to hold on a little bit. Not too much. Just... let the week past, think very crealy about what I want to do, and how I'm about to screw up my family for the rest of our lives.

I can't look him in the eye. I can't stand to be in the same room as him. It's horrible. I had this idea of my dad. Of who he was and what he represented to me. He was sort of like my hero, you know? I worshiped the guy. Now it's like... I see him and I want to run away screaming "cheating, cheating, sockman eater". I want to throw things at him. I want to punch you in the face and laugh about it. I want to ask him how could he do something like that to me. To my sister. To my mom. How could he go away, do all those things he was doing, and come home, hug us and tell my mom he loves her. And after I get all those answers I want to get back on throwing things at him.

My mom... my mom is this crazy in love person with my dad. She always were. I can't even begin to imagina what she'll be like when all this fuckery comes out. I can't imagine what my sister will do. See, if my dad was a hero to me, he was a God to my sister. She idolizes him in such a way that when she gets gome from College and my dad doesn't give her a full on smile, she thinks she has done something wrong for him to be mad at her. That's how crazy she is about him. He's flawless to her. He can do no wrong. Her world will totally crash and I can't to anything to stop it. I'm the one who's putting the crashing into motion.

It's not my fault, I know that. But dude, it feels like the heartache is gonna take place all because of he and not because of the fucking idiot my dad has been for at least three years.

And I can't stop thinking about it. The emails. It's just so dirty and horrible and I feel nauseated just by thinking about it.

I don't know what will happen now. I have no idea how my mom will react. I have this vision where she's rushing my dad out the door while telling him to never come back. I know that's what I want my mom to do. That's what I think she'll do. But in this cases... you never know. The people you think you know the most can surprise you.

I have no respect for him anymore. None. No admiration, no respect. I think the love's gone too. I don't know yet, but I'm pretty sure it's gone. It's horrible because he's standing right there, he's just a few inches away, and to me it's like he's dead now.

I just know that, once all of this crap comes out, I'll be the one holding my mom and my sister together. I can tell. I mean, I'm the one who found out about it. I just don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can hold them together while trying keep myself from losing it as well.

I'm so fucking scared. I have no idea of what to do.

I'm just too fucking scared.

Yeah, I know I know... I keep on saying I'll be back more and then I don't and you all think I'm a liar and I suck. But this year was really busy for me.

I know there's still a whole month before the actual end of the year but, if the last month of the year is anything like they it is in salons and spas, I won't have a break 'til January.

The thing is, I ran into a friend of mine yestarday, someone I hadn't seen for quite some time now... we went to school together and we were really close friendsand then life happened and we just... we grew apart I think. There were some other problems mixed in there, but yestarday I saw that we really weren't in the same place anymore so, there wasn't anything to hold on to.

Well, I ran into this friend and we started talking and we started telling each other all sorts of things, and as we were talking I realised this year was a really great year for me. Sure, there were some bumps in the road but all in all, it was a pretty good year.

College is coming to an end. It was four years of almost hard work and a lot of complications, but, even though this isn't the major I set myself to get, it's still a pretty darn good one and I'm glad I was able to stick around and finish the whole thing. I still don't see myself working on an office, behind a desk, minding someone else's bussiness. I cant see myself doing that. But I can see a lot of ways that this major will help me with all the things I still wanna do so...with all the things I still want to conccur.

It was also a great year for friendships. First, I had a lot of problems with some really dear, old friends. Stuff that now we can barely remember why went down, but the thing is that it was bad and we had some really bad times together and really awfull fights, but it all worked out. If possible one of my best friends came out of that shit more connected that before.

My health wasn't the best one. I had my first cirgury this year, and yeah I didn't even came here to talk about it, but it was all very very fast and it wasn't all that complicated or life threatening. The thing is that, the cirgury, was one of the best things that happened to me this year. I could finally see who was on my side and who was here just for the show. I had some troubles with another very dear friend at this time, and unfortunally this friendship I know it won't last too long. We still talk and we still hang out, but it's just not the same. It just can't be.

But then, when one friendship is tested and unfortunally doesn't survive, you have some other awesome friendships just coming together that you can't really care about anything for a certain period of time. This year, this is a LEGENDARY year. It's the end of an era in so many ways to me, but it's also the start of a new one. This is the year that stelablack , ms_pollygreen and just_lucy finally got to know each other! Like in the same state and apartment! It was only for a week, the world is still recovering from it though, but it was one of the most amazing weeks ever. Like, really. It was something we never though we'd be able to do, we had tried before, but it never worked it out and this time it did and it was pure amazingness. Sometimes, when I stop to think about it, I can''t believe it really happened because, you know, we've been talking to each other for three years; I've known Luce (just_lucy ) for two of those years, and Polly (ms_pollygreen )... well, it feels like every time we went t othe movies or to do some other thing, it was like Polly just couldn't be there with us, like we knew her already but she just couldn't make it that day. We'd talk about conversations we had and it was like we all knew each other and when it actually happened, when we actually came to known one another, it was like, mindblowing in the most awesome sense.

And now ... now the year is coming to an end and another one will beggin and I don't know what to expect. I really don't. I just know that it's going to be awesome because I have some awesome people with me.

I have no idea why I wrote all of this, I think it's just... I don't know. It's just something I wanted to write and here is the place to do it.

Okay, cheesey moment is over. We can go back to pretending it's all normal and whatnot in the world again.

This is a colaboration between ms_pollygreen and myself. Again. Because it's fun. And because Glee goes with every freaking think in the whole world!

So, the girls and I are always talking how Rachel Berry is the long lost daughter of Monica Geller because, c'mom, the smilarities are just too obvious. And after that a list was born and we also saw that Rachel Green and Quinn Fabray have a whole darn lot in common as well so, this is how this picspam came to be! Enjoy!!



( The Lost Daughters of Monica Geller and Rachel Green )

People!

So, I decided that I don't really care how complicated and fast paced my life is, I'm gonna find some time to come here (comment) and post something. Anything. Mostly regarding my beautiful tv shows that are almost all back and all amazing.

For starters, my new found obsession is Glee. It's not new per se, but I haven't talked about yet so, deal with it. The show is just too precious with not taking itself too seriously and the cast... oh the cast, I can't even begin to describe how awesome they are.
This is one of the few shows where I like the entire cast/characters. It's something kind of rare in my fandoms lol. But this cast... everyone, Lea, Dianna, Corry, Mark, Chris, Jenna, Amber, Kevin... they're all too cute and adorable and keep on tweeting the most ridiculous things that you can't help but love them together LMAO.

Also, the show is too amazing. It's funny when it needs to be, it's sad when it needs to be, it's trashy when it needs to be... it's everything Pushing Daisies was for me a year ago. Damn you ABC, I'm still mad.

I started watching Flash Foward. Since Lost is leaving us after this season I thought I should get hooked into another weid crazy drama about people fighting with their destiny. It just felt right. And the show is really good. Only two episodes down and we're already talking about theories Im prety sure will be false LOL.

Grey's Anatomy is really good, and depressing, and then good again. We're used to it by now LOL.

Private Practice premiere was really good!! I loved seeing how the origina five got together and how Pete and Violet interacted and how she came to know about his troubled marriage. They're really focusing on them now instead of selling the whole drama qith Cooper and Violet. 

Bones warms my heart in every episode. Booth and Brennan shul just get on because I seriously don't know how much more I can take with all the UST and eye!sex.

Fringe!! Fringe is like, crazy. And good. And Olivia kicks some serious ass and travels through paralel universes and is really awesome while doing all of those things. 

Oh captain, my captain! Barney Stinson owns so much. My favourites on HIMYM go as follow Barney, Robin, Lily, Marshall and Ted. I think it's the first show where the character I like the most is a man. besides Pushing Daisies and the awesomeness that was Lee Pace and Ned. 

What else? Oh, watched Melrose Place 2.0 and it's fucking addicting! I was considering download the thing for as long as I could but then it alrady got too complicated with my crazy schedules and I haven't gone pass the third episode. But I'm sure once College is out (which is by the end of november can everybdy say YEAAAAHHHH!!!) I'll be downloading it. Oh yeah. 

Gonna try and watch the Pilot for Stargate Universe this weekend, but I don't think it'll happen since I'll have a lot to do with Polly comin to São Paulo next week!! yes, the trio will be together and it wil be LEGENDARY!


What else? 

College is almost finished. Like, I'll be done with it in two month and I can't fraking wait! 
 I'm working a lot. But it's okay, it's not the most horrible place in the world anymore. So, I'm dealing... 
My dad got fired. My mom got fired. But we're okay for now... no need to get desperate. Yet. 

I think that's it. My life isn't really all that interesting right now... but do tell what's going on with all of you!!?!?! 

PEOPLE! *hugs flist*

Man, my last entry was like, eons ago! How are you, my dear, dear flist?! I've been pretty occupied with work and College (being my last year and all), and that's really why I haven't been around. But then again, I can never stay away from my dear dear fandoms for a long time.

And this time, I have a new one. Like maybe everyone else in the planet, I'm in love with Glee. And for those of you who were here with me two years ago when Pushign Daisies happened, you know how I can get lol.

But, this is me, with a picspam, which is horribly made since I haven't done one in forever and I don't have all of ms_pollygreen 's thingys for PS anymore. Anyways... here it is!


( It's like if High School Musical had been punched in the stomach, and had its lunch money stolen. )

PEOPLE!

I disappeared but I'm not dead. I'm working like crazy and I have absolutely no time to do anything. So, I'm on Twitter now! Add me and I'll add you and we'll still be able to keep in touch!

http://twitter.com/stelablack

I always wanted to do this sort of thing but never really got the guts to sit down and do it, but this month's picspammy  challenge gave me the push I was needing!

OMG PEOPLE! LOST IS JUST FUCKING AWESOME.

Also, I've been watching Battlestar Galactica. I'm finishing S1, only one episode left before I start S2, but my God is the show awesome or what!?

I haven't slept for 2 days. I really really need to sleep.

And, because I finally have Photoshop again, and because I had this idea in my mind since forever, a little picspam!




( Top 5 Real Life Friendships! )